“I am a military girlfriend. I hold no formal recognition with the powers that be. I am at the bottom of the chain. I hold no military ID card, I am not a “dependent” or a parent. The man I love may face unspeakable dangers, and I am at the mercy of those who possess this recognition for news. I understand this and accept this. I have promised to be here for him upon his return, no matter how long he is away. People may say I am insane for making such a commitment with no guarantees, but I hold onto our promises and have faith that he will come home safe to me. I know full well that my love for him fuels him in the worst of times. There is no ring on my finger to symbolize our commitment, but it means he will be home for me. I hope every day that he will call because a 30-second phone call can bring the greatest spectrum of emotions… smiling with tears in my eyes from so much joy and pain. My relationship is based on a brief communicatn where “I love you and I’m okay” speaks more than volume, and gives me the strength to keep going. I take no moment spent together for granted. I hold onto every touch, caress, kiss, every word. I have memorized the feel of his skin, his smell, the sound of his voice, and I play it over and over in my mind so that I will not forget. I cry myself to sleep some nights because missing him hurts so badly, but wake up the next morning, brush myself off, and start a new day. When you watch the news reports, you may turn away and go about your business relatively unaffected. When I watch news stories of the war, I do not see nameless military men and women half a world away. I see individuals who will be forever changed by war. News of every casualty causes me physical pain and deep sadness.”
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(Source: fr4gile0wl, via quietbutreckless)
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I’ve lost control.
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I just feel so alone. No one is here for me. I almost drove off a bridge tonight and went home and cried to myself. I had no one to call because I knew everyone was to busy to answer. The only person who cares is 900 miles away and can’t possibly answer his phone. I’ve lost control over my life and I don’t know how to get it back.
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i swear i get uglier everyday
(Source: ldaho, via a-marine-stole-my-heart)
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